Rude Relationships and Love Cards

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      Whether you want them to feed you pork scratchings and tell you you're pretty or that you really, really fucking love them! Our rude relationship / love cards are perfectly offensive enough for your partner, other half, wife or boyfriend! Take your pick from our many naughty, saucy, sweary card designs!

      49 products
      A humorous Valentine's card named "You Make My Knob Throb," showcasing a layered heart design with clouds and sun on a pink and purple backdrop, paired with a brown envelope.
      You Make My Knob Throb Card
      £2.75
      The "You Make My Minge Twinge" card features a humorous design with a pink background, a large red heart surrounded by clouds and the sun, and a banner reading, "You make my minge twinge." It comes with a brown envelope and is ideal for anniversaries.
      You Make My Minge Twinge Card
      £2.75
      The "Happy Valentine's You Give Me The Uni-horn" card features a colorful unicorn among stars and reads, "Happy Valentine's" on top and "You Give Me The Unicorn" at the bottom. It's a playful, charming square card that comes with a brown envelope.
      Happy Valentine's You Give Me The Uni-horn Card
      £2.75
      Titled "Feed Me Pork Scratchings And Tell Me I'm Pretty Love Card," this humorous Valentine's Day card showcases a playful message adorned with a glittery red heart on a pink background, complemented by a brown envelope.
      Feed Me Pork Scratchings And Tell Me I'm Pretty Love Card
      £2.75
      Wrapped in beautifully folded sheets of our "I Really Really Fucking Love You" gift wrap, this charming package is adorned with white paper featuring the heartfelt message "only for you" and decorated with small red hearts. Perfect for a Valentine’s gift, it is elegantly tied with a red ribbon and features a round sticker in the top right corner that reads, "I WANT YOU TO BE ABLE.
      I Really Really Fucking Love You Gift Wrap (Folded Sheet)
      £2.75
      The "I Fucking Love You! And Your Magical Genitals Cute Unicorn Card" features a unicorn flying over a rainbow with bold text on a red background, making it the perfect humorous anniversary card for your special someone, complete with a brown envelope.
      I Fucking Love You! And Your Magical Genitals Cute Unicorn Card
      £2.75
      The "I Predict Wet Patches Card," featuring a candy-colored Valentine theme, shows a playful cloud with hearts and raindrops against a pink background. The card includes text that reads: "I predict wet patches, and a good seeing-to tonight!" It comes with a brown envelope.
      I Predict Wet Patches Card
      £2.75
      The "Play With My Pussy Cute Kitten Card" features a cartoon white cat with a red bow tie, holding a heart-shaped sign with its cheeky message. Against a red background with small hearts, this funny anniversary card comes beautifully placed in a brown envelope.
      Play With My Pussy Cute Kitten Card
      £2.75
      A "Let's Play Hide The Sausage" Valentine's card features pink and red flowers on the side and is accompanied by a brown envelope.
      Let's Play Hide The Sausage Card
      £2.75
      The "You Make My Fanny Flutter" card boasts a vibrant pink background and a circle surrounded by pink and peach flowers. Inside, the playful text: "YOU MAKE MY FANNY FLUTTER." Ideal for Valentine's Day, it comes with a brown envelope.
      You Make My Fanny Flutter Card
      £2.75
      The Be My Valentine Unicorn Card displays a rainbow-maned unicorn leaping over waves on a candy-colored background. It humorously states "Be My Valentine" at the top and "You Magnificent, Magical Bastard" below, and comes with an envelope for fun delivery.
      Be My Valentine Unicorn Card
      £2.75
      The "I Love Your Willy" card features gold-embossed text on a red background, resting elegantly on a brown envelope, making it the perfect golden foil card for Valentine's or special occasions.
      I Love Your Willy Card
      £2.75
      Introducing the Ewe Were Made For Me Glamour Sheep Card: a charming greeting card featuring a sheep with flowing wool against pink shading. Adorned with the phrases "Ewe Were Made For Me" and "Everybody Tells Me So!", it includes a brown envelope and is shipped worldwide in an eco-friendly biodegradable bag.
      Ewe Were Made For Me Glamour Sheep Card
      £2.75
      The "Will You Look At The Ass On That!" card features a cartoon donkey riding a motorcycle on its cover, with the humorous text, "WILL YOU LOOK AT THE ASS ON THAT!" It includes a brown envelope and is suitable for any occasion. Additionally, it ships in a biodegradable bag, making it ideal for worldwide shipping enthusiasts.
      Will You Look At The Ass On That! Card
      £2.75
      The "I Really Really Love Ewe! Glamour Sheep Card" showcases a fluffy sheep with stylized wool set against a pink backdrop. Above the sheep, the text reads "I REALLY REALLY LOVE," while below it says, "EWE!" This charming card comes tucked inside a brown envelope and is shipped in an eco-friendly biodegradable bag. Enjoy global delivery!
      I Really Really Love Ewe! Glamour Sheep Card
      £2.75
      A card from the "I Really Really Fucking Love You" collection, featuring a handwritten message on a brown envelope and a small red heart—ideal for a humorous Valentine’s gesture.
      I Really Really Fucking Love You Card
      £2.75
      The "I Love You! And Your Big Cock" Cute Unicorn Card features a cartoon unicorn with a flower crown on a pink cloud surrounded by hearts. Bold text contrasts the vibrant pink background, making it perfect for humor lovers this Valentine's Day or anniversary.
      I Love You! And Your Big Cock Cute Unicorn Card
      £2.75
      The "I Want To Lick Your Lollipop! Cute Unicorn Card" features a whimsical unicorn with a lollipop and the playful text, "I want to lick your lollipop! (and suck on your gobstoppers)," set against a pink background. Complete with a brown envelope, it offers worldwide shipping for convenience.
      I Want To Lick Your Lollipop! Cute Unicorn Card
      £2.75
      Valentine's card featuring a pink backdrop with a hot chocolate mug decorated with hearts and bow, topped with marshmallows, hearts, and striped straws. Reads "My Hot Chocolate Needs Some Serious Stirring!.
      My Hot Chocolate Needs Some Serious Stirring! Card
      £2.75
      The "My Love Muffin Card" is a candy-colored Valentine's Day card with a cupcake featuring rainbow frosting and pink hearts. The text reads, "My love muffin needs your stud muffin lovin!" It comes with a brown envelope, making it a humorous and sweet way to celebrate love.
      My Love Muffin Card
      £2.75
      The "I Love You! And Your Perfect Pussy Cute Kitten Card" showcases a mythical cat with a rainbow mane holding a heart labeled "Love" on a pink backdrop. It reads "I Love You! (And your perfect pussy)" with an envelope visible beneath, enhancing its whimsical kitten charm.
      I Love You! And Your Perfect Pussy Cute Kitten Card
      £2.75
      The "You Make Me So Horny! Cute Kitten Card" features a fluffy white cat holding a heart with the text against a red backdrop, perfectly displayed atop a brown envelope to bring smiles and laughter to your special someone's face this Valentine's Day.
      You Make Me So Horny! Cute Kitten Card
      £2.75
      The "I Love Fucking You! Cute Kitten Card" features a chubby cartoon cat holding a heart-patterned gift on a red background with pink hearts. The text says, "I LOVE YOU! (FANCY A CHEEKY BIT OF FUN LATER?)". Comes with a brown envelope; perfect for Valentine's Day.
      I Love Fucking You! Cute Kitten Card
      £2.75
      The "I Fucking Love You! Cute Kitten Card" has two cats hugging among pink flowers and hearts. The bold text says, "I Fking Love You!" with a cheeky note "(Let's Fk Like Ferrets Later?)". It comes in red with a plain brown envelope.
      I Fucking Love You! Cute Kitten Card
      £2.75
      The "I Love Fucking You" card is a humorous Valentine's Day card in 3D paper art style, showcasing a bold red heart and banner with the phrase "I LOVE FUCKING YOU," surrounded by sun, clouds, and tiny hearts. It comes complemented with a brown envelope.
      I Love Fucking You Card
      £2.75
      The "I Love All of You! Card" features bold, golden 3D letters on a red gold foil surface and rests elegantly against a white background with a brown envelope.
      I Love All of You! Card
      £2.75
      The "I Love Your Ass! Card" displays a playful illustration of a donkey on a motorcycle accompanied by bold text. It is delivered in a brown envelope and printed in the UK, adding an eco-friendly element to your message with its biodegradable materials.
      I Love Your Ass! Card
      £2.75
      Illustration of a cat with long, wavy hair resembling a wig, set against a pink circle background. The whimsical "I Love Your Pussy! Card" sits atop an envelope, poised for its journey with worldwide shipping. Above the cat, text reads "I LOVE YOUR" and below "PUSSY!
      I Love Your Pussy! Card
      £2.75
      A "You Have Such A Beautiful Pussy! Card" showcases an illustration of a cat with long, wavy fur surrounded by the text "You have such a beautiful pussy!" and rests on a brown envelope. The card highlights orange and yellow hues in the cat's fur and is available for worldwide shipping.
      You Have Such A Beautiful Pussy! Card
      £2.75
      The May I Pet Your Pretty Pussy Cat? Card presents an illustrated cat with long, wavy hair and features the playful text, "May I pet your pretty pussy cat?" It comes packaged in a biodegradable bag with a brown envelope and includes the option of worldwide shipping for added convenience.
      May I Pet Your Pretty Pussy Cat? Card
      £2.75